Friday
Nov122010
Grow happiness under your feet
Friday, November 12, 2010 at 8:15AM
We all want to fit in, at times it is easy to lose track of who you really are. Happiness can only be found when you align your life to your values, this is a basic principle of coaching - But, how do I do it? You might ask. Help is coming, read on:
Photo by SuziJane Flickr CC
All of us certified coaches are trained in helping our clients to identify their values, but you can do much by yourself. J. D. Meier at Sources of Insight states two very important questions:
Some state it even more dramatically:
It all start with questions. When you have some first answers, listen to your heart - does it feel right? Does it resonate? Don't try to be organized or use your logic brain, this is deeper, listen for your intuition.
You have your list, time to explore. Somebody must ask the probing questions regarding the implications of the areas you just defined. This can be tricky. You need someone that you trust, it can be a professional sworn to secrecy and discretion or it can be a significant other. The problem of asking friends and family to help is that you easily to become a bit dependent on the person helping you. At the very least you could reflect on the impact the soul searching is likely to have on your relationship.
So what are the questions that needs to be asked? In coaching they are called "powerful questions", they are the ones that make you shut up and think. When you react by saying: "hmm, I really don't know..." and go quiet, then you know it is a powerful question.
Let's say that you defined being responsible as one of your values. One question that you might want to answer is: What does being responsible mean to you? What do you get out of it?
When you make your list, you risk listing things you were brought up with. The trick is to dive deeper, to find who you really are.
There are two fantastic quotes that I would love to share:
Do you know your values? Are they in line with what you are doing?
Photo by SuziJane Flickr CCTwo questions
All of us certified coaches are trained in helping our clients to identify their values, but you can do much by yourself. J. D. Meier at Sources of Insight states two very important questions:
- Who do you want to be?
- What experiences do you want to create?
Some state it even more dramatically:
- What do you think about the last 15 minutes before you fall asleep at night in your bed?
- Or, more dramatic still - You have 25.000 days to live, what will you think about on the last one?
It all start with questions. When you have some first answers, listen to your heart - does it feel right? Does it resonate? Don't try to be organized or use your logic brain, this is deeper, listen for your intuition.
The role of a significant other
You have your list, time to explore. Somebody must ask the probing questions regarding the implications of the areas you just defined. This can be tricky. You need someone that you trust, it can be a professional sworn to secrecy and discretion or it can be a significant other. The problem of asking friends and family to help is that you easily to become a bit dependent on the person helping you. At the very least you could reflect on the impact the soul searching is likely to have on your relationship.
So what are the questions that needs to be asked? In coaching they are called "powerful questions", they are the ones that make you shut up and think. When you react by saying: "hmm, I really don't know..." and go quiet, then you know it is a powerful question.
Let's say that you defined being responsible as one of your values. One question that you might want to answer is: What does being responsible mean to you? What do you get out of it?
When you make your list, you risk listing things you were brought up with. The trick is to dive deeper, to find who you really are.
Inspiration
There are two fantastic quotes that I would love to share:
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” — James Openheim
Do you know your values? Are they in line with what you are doing?
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[...] In my practice as coach and mentor I have devised a simple two-step method for change, a method for creating your own happiness: [...]